June 1, 2012

• Bullying

  Dharun Ravi

  Is it just me or has there been a good deal of media coverage on “bullying” lately?  Probably the most famous case recently is that of Dharun Ravi and Tyler Clementi.  It was the first time I ever saw anyone getting charged with a hate crime for doing something to a white person, and a white male no less.  So if there is some crime against a white person it can be counted as a hate crime if the person is gay, but other than that you can forget about it.  For anyone who does not know, Dharun Ravi (an Indian national) was stuck rooming with this gay guy Tyler Clementi.  While there, he set up his webcam to record his roommate in an act of homosexuality and broadcast it online.  When Tyler found out about it he killed himself, and Dharun Ravi got blamed for his death.  Just for the record, and for those who are challenged in the area of dictionary utilization, suicide refers to a situation where someone deliberately takes their own life.  If you deliberately kill yourself then it is your own fault you are dead.  Just like if you randomly decide to stick your hand in a fire it is your fault that you get burned, or if you eat at McDonalds every day it is your fault that you got fat. 

  I know, it’s a difficult concept for a lot of people these days, but if you do something to yourself then whatever consequences follow are your fault.  So blaming other people for someone committing suicide is retarded.  If a murderer was in court and he said “well it wasn’t my fault that I killed person X because person Y was saying bad things about person X.  Therefore, I thought that person X should die but really person Y is responsible.”  Whoever does the killing bears the responsibility.  This is all a part of the left’s campaign against personal responsibility. 

  So all sorts of people rush to blame Dharun Ravi, and they talk about giving him 10 years of prison and deporting him to India for this.  They all start speculating on why Dharun Ravi was so twisted and how it was a brutal hate crime, and how Tyler Clementi was so sensitive and so innocent.  Of course he’s sensitive, he’s gay. There is something wrong with his mind that causes him to act like a female when he should be acting like a man.  But no one tries to understand Dharun Ravi, instead they try to fit him and his motives into their warped left paradigm and frame his motives in terms of their preconceptions.  The left does not care about justice, it only cares about perpetuating it’s agenda.  The left is pro-gay, and they want to make it look like homosexuals are persecuted so that they can step up their control of society, mitigate freedom of speech, and launch some additional attacks on the traditional family unit.  So when they find out about Dharun Ravi they trump him up as an icon for evil.  Whatever happened to multiculturalism and the cultural sensitivity that the left is always claiming they have?

  Well I happen to know a bit about Indian culture (which to me is far more relatable than this emasculated gender bending left wing lunacy), so I will try to explain Ravi’s reaction.  First of all, in India the concept of “hate crime” does not exist.  I realize this revelation may be shocking to the left, but not everyone in the world is the same (SHOCKING!).  The sooner you liberals divorce yourself from that notion, the sooner you will maybe actually start to understand people in a realistic way.  If you ask the average Indian person what a hate crime is they are likely to shrug and say something along the lines of “what is this ‘hate crime’”?  I kid you not, you liberals need to stop listening to your college professors and get out in the real world. 

  Next, in Indian culture homosexuality is still viewed as a form of mental illness and sexual perversion.  Not everyone in the world shares the moral standards of self righteous liberals (or the lack thereof).  And guess what white liberals, since you believe that morality is subjective you have no basis for claiming that your morality is any more objectively valid or authoritative than what they have in India.  Yes I know, this isn’t India but you liberals are always talking about how we need more cultural and racial diversity, and that means you are going to have people with different views and values.  So what do you want?  Do you want diversity or do you want everyone to be the same?  You can’t have it both ways.  I know, I know, so many reality checks in this journal it must be agonizingly painful for the liberals.  But I digress, in India homosexuals either keep down or they get beat down.

  So why did Ravi videotape this guy?  Well, suppose that you white liberals are suddenly stuck rooming with someone from a different culture who engages in a behavior that you find revolting or disturbing… Well… that’s hard since liberals don’t get revolted by things which normal human beings do, but suppose you do.  How do you react?  Suppose you get stuck rooming with some guy who sleeps on a bed of spikes every night.  Suppose that in the morning when this guy gets up he sets a fire inside of a large metal tray, paints his body, and jumps up and down on it shouting “ooga laaga booga booga.”  In some parts of the world people really do these things.  But suppose you don’t know that.  What do you do?  You find it both curious and disturbing, maybe even a little revolting.  You don’t know how to react or relate to that behavior because it doesn’t occur in your culture, but you do know it disturbs and annoys you.  How anyone reacts to a situation like that is going to depend on the person, but it is entirely possible that you might record that behavior to show your friends.  Maybe you want to get advice on how to deal with that behavior, or maybe you want to see how others react to it.

  I’m sure Dhuran was not comfortable living with his gay roommate.  The appropriate thing for him to do would have been to request a different room assignment.  In India he would have severely beaten his roommate for being gay and the roommate probably would have been expelled from the school or would withdraw on his own out of shame.  Different culture, different values, different contex. 

  I’m not saying that what Dhuran did was good or right, but holding him responsible for someone’s suicide is thoroughly asinine, and so is the concept of a hate crime.  The concept of a hate crime is thoroughly idiotic.  A crime is not made more bad if there is a possibility that someone hated the victim.  Who cares if the perp hated the victim?  All that matters is was the crime accidental or purposeful?  If it’s purposeful it should result in a heavier sentence, end of story.  The whole concept of “hate crime” exists simply to put down particular people groups, and portray others as victims (facilitating the victim mentality), and there is way too much subjectivity in determining what constitutes a hate crime.  It’s a stupid idea, and a dangerous one.

  If anything Dhuran should be charged with invasion of privacy.  I don’t know how I would react if someone video recorded me having a steamy make-out with my girlfriend.  I don’t think I would care.  Now if someone video recorded me having sex with my wife then I would care, but I don’t know how ashamed I would be of that since sex after marriage is a morally sound act.  I think the person who recorded me against my will would be more damaged socially than me.  I’m not saying that I want to have my privacy invaded but I would certainly not kill myself over it.  People should either avoid doing things they are ashamed of or learn to be less sensitive. 

  Bullying in General:

  So back to all this outcry over bullying.  I don’t understand what it is all about.  There have been some incidences of teenage and even pre-teen kids killing themselves because they were mistreated by their peers.  The left and the liberal media is all up in arms and talking about how they need to “do something.” 

  Well liberals, what are you going to do?  Do you want to put more cops in the schools?  Maybe a cop in every class?  So do we want to have a police state where the cops are bullying the citizens?  Do you want to give the teachers the authority to hit the children again?  Do you want to deputize some of the “good students” to act as campus cops and maybe rough up the bad kids a little?  Do you want to take the kids who are allegedly bullying others from their parents and put them in a left wing foster home or under government care-givers like Karl Marx called for?  Do you want to drug the kids?  Do you want to lobotomize the kids?  What is it you want to do?  I honestly do not understand what you expect to accomplish.  Maybe you just want to put all the children into mandatory sensitivity training, because of course making people more sensitive equips them to better deal with adverse situations (that was a NOT joke).

  Listen, you liberals need to understand that you cannot change human nature.  I will repeat, you cannot change human nature.  You also need to understand that not everyone is the same.  Not everyone is nice, not everyone will care about your feelings, not everyone is intelligent.  Fear and hate are just as much a part of human nature as empathy.  Actually probably moreso, because everyone is capable of fear and hate but not everyone is capable of empathy.  You need to understand that not everyone can do anything that they set their mind to, that not everyone is capable of the same level of achievement, that not everyone shares your values.  Everyone is not the same, and there is no reason why everyone should be.

  Real Solutions:

  Now that I have discussed how stupid the liberal ideas are, it is time to discuss some practical real world solutions on how to deal with bullying.  I myself was bullied through almost my entire childhood.  I managed to grow up without killing myself or becoming a sensitive milksop.  Kids are going to pick on other kids that they percieve as being different on some level, and provocation is not required. Here are some things that can set off other kids and cause them to persecute your kid(s):

  * Being too tall.

  * Being too short.

  * Being too fat.

  * Being too thin.

  * Having different clothes–this is something parents can easily prevent. 

  * Having different hair–it should noted that in many occasions having different hair could win favor and admiration from other kids, while sometimes it can inspire disdain, hatred, and violence in others.

  * Having different mannerisms–this can include anything from stuttering, to laughing too much, to not reacting positively to things that the other children value.

  * Having different beliefs and/or opinions

  * Having an unusual smell

  * Having an unusual medical condition

  * Being a minority–And no, I’m not talking specifically about the evil white kids picking on a non-white kid, although that certainly is included in this and does happen.  I am talking about any time a kid is racially different from the majority of the students at his school.  A white kid in a predominantly black school is just as jacked as the reverse, at the very least. 

  * Having interests that differ from that of the majority.

  * Having ignorance of popular music.

  * Having an unusual accent.

  * Reacting with strong emotion to a variety of situations.

  * Being more intelligent than the majority of students.

  Paranoia and conformity are components of human nature, and they are the very wellspring from which bullying flows.  What are you going to do?  As one who was often bullied here are some solutions children can try:

  * Don’t give them an emotional reaction.  Sun Tsu said never to let your enemies see your emotions, and if someone is picking on you they are your enemy.  I know this is hard for children to understand, because when you are continually picked on it can be just as irritating as any physical sickness you may have experienced.  There is never a moment of peace, except in solitude.  But one of the reasons why they pick on you is because they want to watch your emotional reaction.  They get a thrill out of knowing that they have upset you, and if you get in trouble for your reaction then that is just icing on the cake for them.  So do not get emotional, do not yell, do not let them see your emotions.

  * Don’t concern yourself with being accepted.  Not everyone is going to accept you, and the harder you try the more opportunities you will give them for ridicule.  Let them be themselves, and you be yourself.  In the adult world none of your elementary, middle school, or high school relationships are going to matter one wit.  Odds are you will never see any of those people again.

  * If you are in a new setting, keep quiet and watch the other kids.  Observe them and see how they act, and how they react to different situations.  Do not reveal too much about yourself or involve yourself emotionally in any situation until you have determined with reasonable certainty who it is safe to talk to and who it is best to avoid.  This will take some time to determine.

  * If you have been going to one school for a long time where everyone knows you and has been harrassing you for years, then ask your parents for a change of setting.  If you are going to a private school (as I was), then tell your parents you would like to go to a public school.  They will probably be willing to oblige you as sending you to a public school will save a good deal of money for them.  The larger the student body, the less likely you are to get picked on.  Once there you have a fresh chance to start over, and you can have a better experience if you implement the previous steps. 

  * If somone physically harms you, then consider responding with force.  Do not respond with threats or attempt to intimidate your opponent.  Make your response swift and painful, and do not talk about it with anyone else afterwords or follow it up with taunts and threats.  An abrupt physical response to physical aggression sends a message to the other child that when they mess with you there will be consequences. But if you go around bragging about what you did or taunting the other child then they are likely to resume their physical aggression against you just to prove that they are not weak or a pushover, because they do not wish to be bullied themselves. I have seen bigger dogs back off from smaller dogs after receiving an abrupt and painful response from the other dog.  Do not respond to verbal provocation with physical violence.  In general it is best to avoid violent situations.

  * Get yourself in shape physically.  If you are still growing then you are too young to lift weights.  To do so would be to risk damaging your growth plates.  What you can do is run, and do pushups, pullups, and situps.  The stronger you are the less likely you are to be a victim.  Once you become physically strong it does not hurt to show your physical strength.  Don’t do it in a way that comes across as flaunting, but help other children from time to time with tasks that require physical strength.  If you do that then the word will get around that you are strong and children will be less likely to mess with you for fear of physical harm.

  * Learn to control your emotions.  This is a technique I used when I was in my mid teens.  Imagine that your emotions are a sea.  Take yourself out of that sea and sit above it, and look out over it.  I’m not saying that you need to live completely without emotions, but reserve your emotions for things that are worth something.  Put your emotions into things that you enjoy doing, and things which interest you specifically, and enjoy those things privately to yourself.  Eventually your peers will mature and some of them will become enlightened and/or open minded enough to share your interests.  When that occurs, seek out friendships with those sorts of people and ignore everyone else.  Why put yourself in a stressful situation if you don’t have to?

  That is the best advice I can give.  Follow it, and your middle school experience will be a good deal less stressful and hazardous.  When I first went into middle school I did everything wrong, and I had to learn all of these things the hard way.  But then my high school experience was smooth sailing.  I didn’t get in trouble once in high school (except for being late for class one time), and I even made a few friends.

  Now here are some ideas for parents:

  * Make your children get in good physical shape.

  * Teach them how to defend themselves.

  * Pay attention to what is going on in school as best you can. 

  * Teach your kid good values, such as self control, self ownership, and how to prioritize.  Teach them that suicide is not an option, and that there will be consequences in the next life.  I never killed myself because I was afraid to go to hell when I died. 

  * Be aware of what sort of school you are sending your child to.  If your child is going to be a consipicuous racial minority then he or she is probably going to be in trouble there.  Yes I know, everyone should learn to be civilized and get along, and not to judge others based on race but this is real life.    In real life being different is more likely to generate negative attention than positive.  Especially in the child world. In real life people are racist, and not just white people, I mean most people, as in the gross majority of humanity.  Also check that school to see if it has a history of violence.  If it does then don’t put your non-violent child there.  If you have a smart child check to see what sort of scores the school has.  If most of the children there are stupid then your child is likely to be harrassed by them for being smart. 

  * Also watch what your kids are wearing.  I’m not saying that they need to have the most expensive clothes, or the most current fashions regardless of how ridiculous they are, but don’t be oblivious to what is going on either.  For example, giving them hand-me-down clothes that are from the previous decade or too small for them is asking for trouble.

  Now for the administrative solutions.  These are some solutions which would make a real appreciable difference and give children a much better academic experience.  Of course they will probably never be implemented here because of the ass witted PC crowd, but here they are:

  * Segregate the children based on intelligence.  One of my best friends is from the Netherlands.  We are 90% similar in terms of personality, and by that I mean likes, dislikes, and behavior patterns.  We have very similar tastes in entertainment, both indoors and outdoors, and similar interests.  That being said, his experience in middle school was pleasant and peaceful whereas mine was one of continual persecution, trouble, and frequent violence.  What made the difference?  Well, in the Netherlands they segregate the children based on intelligence.  The high performing students go to one school, while the idiots go to another.  Guess which school contains most of the violent reaciontionary children?  The idiot school of course.  Each year kids in both schools are tested for placement.  If one of the children in the smart school does poorly he goes to the idiot school the next year.  If one of the children in the idiot school does well on his test he gets moved up to the smart school.  Imagine how much more pleasant middle and elementary school would be without the dross?  No more persecution for being more intelligent or original than other students.

  * Segregate the children based on culture.  Everyone has some sense of cultural identity.  If the public school system were abolished then students the new wave of private schools which emerge would be based primarily on religion and/or culture.  Since they would be privately funded they could choose who they wanted to let in, and some of the schools could establish a high tuition to ensure that only their own group came into the schools.  Having schools based on culture would eliminate bullying based on cultural differences, and it would probably eliminate bullying for academic reasons as well as most of the children would probably be peforming around the same level.

  * Segregate the children based on race.  This idea would probably have liberals screaming but it’s actually not a bad idea.  That would eliminate racial bullying as well as a good deal of cultural and academic bullying.  Again, establishing schools based on race would also eliminate a lot of performance gap issues as different races tend to perform at different levels, on average.  Yes I know that someone is going to scream racist because I even suggested this, but I’m not being racist I’m just being real.  Anyone who has seen the statistics knows that some groups score higher on average while others score lower.  Pretending that facts do not exist does not make them go away.  If you feel that the third option is racist then go with one of the first two.  Any of them would help. 

  Out of the three choices I think the first one is the best, but the other two would also improve conditions for victims of bullying.  Any of the three administrative options I mentioned is better than the left wing solution of sensitivity training combined with a police state.  Sensitivity training + police state = trouble compounded.

  That is all I have to say on this.  I hope it was both informative and useful.

  • 5:26 pm
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